Stop Second-Guessing Yourself
There are few moments of regret in my life. I aim to move from mistake to learning to forgiveness with ease. The regrets that do remain, however, have one thing in common.
Without exception, the moments I wish I could do over are the moments when I acted against my intuition. I shushed my inner voice. I ignored the small “uh-oh” or “yes” in favor of what I felt I “should” do instead.
I’ve let peer pressure get the better of me.
I’ve let looks good on paper override feels good in my body… with results that were less than stellar.
I’ve learned a few key lessons that help to ground me in my own inner wisdom and keep me from second-guessing myself. It’s easy to get stuck in your own head, especially when making a big choice.
Play with some of these practices if you find yourself at a crossroads or to bring yourself back into alignment with your truth.
Intuition is a practice.
Start with small decisions. We can build the muscle of our intuition. Begin by making small decisions: what to have for lunch, what song to play for your solo dance-party, the route to take home from work.
Over time, these experiences will give you the confidence to make bigger decisions with clarity.
Try it on.
When deciding between two options, try each one on. Like you’d try on clothes in a fitting room, put on each decision (energetically) and give it a whirl.
Feel and imagine what making each decision would be like. This information may cast light on an otherwise murky choice.
Without judgment, imagine yourself having made one decision or another. What is it like? Which feels more resonant? Wear each decision lightly until you’ve had the chance to make sure it fits.
You’re not always going to get it right.
No matter what, you will make mistakes. That’s part of being human. There’s a myth about intuition that it’s either right all the time or that it’s entirely BS.
Grant yourself (and your intuitive decision-making) the permission to screw up from time to time. It doesn’t mean that it’s bad, just that you’re human. Which is totally cool.
Perfectionism will stand in the way of intuition, if you let it. The need to be right isn’t serving you, and will actually keep you playing small in order to avoid risk. Sometimes, you need to take a chance, even if it doesn’t work out.
You can’t demand right-ness from your intuition all the time. You can only offer it trust.
Not every decision needs to be an agonizing one.
As I mention above, you won’t always get it right. In certain moments, you just need to make a decision (any decision will do!) so that you can move on.
Don’t over-think it. Not every move need a pro/con list or a spreadsheet.
Again, aim for it to be light. Allow yourself to be in the flow of your life. Offer yourself the mercy of simply moving forward, regardless of whether you’ve analyzed the idea to pieces.
Some decisions take more juice than others. Don’t sweat the ones that don’t need sweating, so that you have more energy and space for the ones that do.
It can be simpler and easier than you think.
You don’t always need to pick the hard way. You can choose the path of least resistance sometimes. There are moments when the choice is crystal clear and you don’t need to bog yourself down with more information.
You can choose to let it be easy. You can choose to let it be simple.
Simple and easy are not always born from apathy or resignation. At times, they are a gift to ourselves: for life to be uncomplicated and liberated.
