How to Stop People-Pleasing—Saturday Self-Care Check-In
One of the biggest lessons many of us will learn (or unlearn) in our lifetimes is how to stop being a people pleaser—and how to start prioritizing our own needs.
Saturday Self-Care Check-in: How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
Part of self-care is learning how to disappoint other people. Why? Because only when we learn to stop being a people pleaser can we start to focus on our own very real (and important needs.
Because many of us deprioritize our self-care in order to be of service to others. We give more. We try to fix everything. And we (real talk) try to control others’ emotions by making everything just-so.
Finally, we do all of this at the expense of our self-care. We don’t fill our own cups, so we’re pouring from an empty vessel.
Ultimately, that leads to extreme burnout. So, how do we get out of our people-pleasing cycle?
We see why we people please in the first place.
And we remember that instead of feeling like we’re responsible for fixing everything, we can decide to give generously and freely (without expectation of anything in return). When we offer only what we genuinely want to give, something shifts.
Once we start to unwind those people-pleasing tendencies, then we can start having more honest conversations and deeper self-care.
Look, the fact that many of us are people-pleasers? That’s not our fault. There are structural and systemic reasons many of us want to please and appease others. But just because there’s a reason behind it, doesn’t mean there’s anything we can do. There’s plenty. And it begins by prioritizing ourselves and being willing to be just a little inconvenient in the process.
Get my free training:
How to Be Inconvenient
In this full-length training, you’ll learn:
- How people-pleasing is a form of hustle culture.
- How to tell the difference between your purpose and others peoples’ agenda.
- How to know what you want (so you can start asking for it).
