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5 useful questions to craft awesome self-care

After bringing myself back from intense burnout ten years ago, I discovered that, unlike the myths I’d been sold, self-care is not a destination. It’s a journey. It’s an iterative process that we keep evolving. And it keeps evolving us in return.

While bubble baths and yoga are lovely, they alone do not create self-care.


I’ve actually found that my most powerful and important self-care tool and practice is one that’s not only totally free, but doesn’t require me to buy a thing. It’s one that I can employ any time, in any place, no matter what I’m doing or where I am in the world.

It never fails, and it grows with me.

What’s my self-care magic wand? Curiosity.

Getting into a headspace of receptivity, softness, and genuine curiosity is always the best way to create self-care on a moment-to-moment basis.

Why? Because self-care isn’t static. It’s never one thing. Different states require different care. Curiosity allows us to explore what we truly need, instead of becoming the dictators of our self-care. If you’re looking to create more self-care, I highly recommend developing this sense of playful experimentation.

Allow curiosity to be your guide. Allow the answers to come organically. You might be surprised. You might just learn something.

What is currently on your plate?

Developing awareness is the first step to creating more meaningful self-care. Noticing what’s on your plate can help point you toward what kind of self-care you need to create balance.

This information will also help to guide you in what’s possible in terms of self-care right now. It may also offer insight into what needs to shift in order for self-care or healing to be a greater part of your life.

What feels good?

Notice what takes your breath away. Become aware of moments where you experience wonder, pleasure, and relief. Those can point you in the direction of what self-care might look like for you.

Self-care doesn’t need to be a struggle or something that’s just good for you. It can be decadent or silly or feel-good sometimes. It’s okay to let loose and embrace what makes you feel awesome.

What do you want more of?

Is there anything missing right now? Pay attention to what you find yourself longing for or missing. People, experiences, places – all of this information can be a guide for what could support you well, if you were able to weave more of it into your life.

Begin to add more of these things in baby steps.  Offer yourself small tastes of self-care success, rather than heaping all of it onto your plate at once (and probably burning out on self-care, too). Experiment with little bites to make sure that this “more” is serving you well.

What do you want less of?

Where are the “shoulds” in your life? Are there places where more is actually too much? Be honest about what isn’t resonating, even if it once did. Even if you think it should feel rewarding and meaningful. Self-care is as much about creating boundaries and not-doing as it is about doing.

Sometimes, it’s not about adding pedicures, but about subtracting draining people or activities.

How do you want your everyday to feel?

In a perfect world, how would you feel moving through your life? What tone or quality would you embody? What’s needed to support that tone? Who supports you in feeling that way. When we begin to create this evolving self-care balance (a little more of this, a little less of that), it can be helpful to know the direction in which we’re pointing ourselves, ultimately.

What does that ideal everyday look and feel like? It may never actually become perfect, but aiming ourselves in that direction will certainly help us get closer.

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