These days, I’m writing my way out from under a lot. Motherhood. Running a business. Stewarding my health, my relationships, and my spirit. I am stretching into my identity as a creative person and reclaiming a new phase of relationship with my body.
I am snuggling up next to discomfort and growth daily. Everything is in process.
What I really want to tell you is that
I thought I would feel more put together by now.
That I would reach a place in my various roles where I felt like I had it all figured out as an adult, a mother, a boss. (Hint: I don’t.)
When I feel this way, my husband always turns to me and asks, “What would you tell your readers if they told you they felt like this?” He then cocks an eyebrow, because he knows what I’ll say.
And what I want to tell you is this:
We are all doing everything at our own pace. All of us. Me, my child, you. Even the Instagram-perfect leaders. Even the Pinterest-perfect moms.
All of any of us can do is honor our place in our own arc.
And keep deciding how we want to show up for our lives.
What I’ve decided this year is that I want to show up for my life with gentleness. I want this year of my life to feel like an ecstatic, golden moment. Because it is. Even in all its imperfection. Even when I’m making it up as I go.
I want to remember that it is sacred and that I get to decide to show up for it in a way that honors just how incredibly precious it all is.
Does this mean that I’m never frustrated? Heck no. Does this mean that I’m still kind of sleep deprived on the regular? You bet your ass. It just means that I get to choose my narrative. It means that I get to feel gratitude for my place in my arc.
Sure, I could spend time bemoaning how “behind” I feel, how I still don’t feel like I have it all figured out. Or I could double down on devotion, and show up as my full, spectacular, imperfect self with my wholehearted attention. Even – or especially – when it’s hard.
The parts of my life that I care most deeply about, where I’m putting that wholehearted attention and choosing to show up excellently, are what I call my Sacred Focus.
When I keep those front and center, things flow.
When I let myself get bogged down in the things that don’t matter, things go off the rails a bit. Not coincidentally, those things that don’t matter? They don’t honor my arc. They make me feel small and unworthy and un-precious.
This week, I’m choosing yet another layer of softening, a new level of peace with my arc, and steadfast attention to what matters to me deeply. I am inviting discernment along for the ride: to help me see what doesn’t belong and what isn’t serving my process.
If you are feeling messy this week, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. But I also want you to know that
Wherever you are in your process, you deserve respect for continuing to show up.
I guarantee that I am in process with it just as you are, and I am so grateful to be walking this path with you.
Organized under Sacred Focus.