Entries organized under Self-Care

The Tiny Little Self-Care Class

July 17, 2017

 

Announcing: The Tiny Little Self-Care Class

A free course for people who feel seriously burned out—and need immediate relief.

[START THE CLASS]

 

The Tiny Little Self-Care Class- a free course for people who feel seriously burnt out and need immediate relief. Sign up for free here! >> www.christytending.com

“I feel so overwhelmed.”

That’s a phrase that I hear from nearly all of my clients—along with, “I’m completely exhausted,” “Once I put out one fire, there’s always another one to deal with,” “I’m barely holding it together,” “I’m so depleted,” and “I just don’t feel good.”

That’s why I created The Tiny Little Self-Care Class: a free course for people who feel seriously burned out—and need immediate relief.

In this class, you’ll find simple, realistic ideas on how to reduce stress and anxiety, reclaim time for the commitments that matter to you, feel calmer and stronger, and just… have a better day.

Busy parents, creative entrepreneurs, nurses, teachers, community organizers, activists, and world-changers… People who give, give, give, and do, do, do… this class is my gift for you.

 

[START THE CLASS]

 

— How to take the class —

Sign up here for the Tiny Little Self-Care Class and you’ll receive a series of 7 emails: 1 welcome note, 5 self-care ideas, and 1 farewell note with a few more ideas and resources.

Each email is comforting and uplifting, and includes an audio recording if you’d prefer to listen rather than read.

 

— No time pressure —

Once you sign up you’ll receive 7 emails over the course of 7 days. But you don’t have to read everything right away. You can keep these emails in your inbox and peek at them whenever you want. There’s no rush.

 

 

[START THE CLASS]

 

— About the creator of this class —

Hi, I’m Christy! I’m the creator of this website, and I’m thrilled to be your guide from burnout, numbness and overwhelm to effective, joyful, impactful change-making.
I became a social justice activist when I was still in high school. By the time I reached my mid-20s, I’d logged thousands of hours of organizing work across North and South America: rallies, fundraisers, marches, protests, and non-violence trainings (and yes, I’ve been arrested once or twice.)

It took a full-on physical/emotional breakdown at 24 to realize, “Oh. Right. I’m a human being with a human body, not a machine. I have to learn how to refill my own well… or I won’t be able to continue doing the work that matters to me.”

Today, I’m still a passionate climate justice and Indigenous rights activist—but I’m equally passionate about self-care. I write articles on self-care for places like Tiny Buddha, Elephant Journal, MindBodyGreen, and Annapurna Living, I speak on podcasts, I facilitate self-care trainings for non-profit groups and conferences, and I create classes to help people heal from burn-out, find their Sacred Focus, and feel vibrant and strong.

I hope that my newest class—The Tiny Little Self-Care Class—helps you to smile, exhale, and feel a bit lighter as you move about your day. Sign up here, and I’ll meet you in your inbox! Love, support, and relief is on the way…

Christy

 

The Tiny Little Self-Care Class

Warren-wong-275573

A free course for people who feel seriously burnt out—and need immediate relief.

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The Power of Journaling – plus 10 prompts to get you started

July 10, 2017

Journaling is an incredibly powerful tool for self-care and self-knowledge. I haven’t always kept a journal. And often my “journaling” takes other forms than something that begins, “Dear Diary.” But it is an essential part of my self-care, my creative process, even my business. It’s how I begin every year and every new project. Journaling is part of how I connect with myself and my intuition.

Journaling is Powerful. Plus plus 10 journaling prompts to help you tap into your intuition and get you started! Find all 10 here! >> www.christytending.com

Journaling helps me tap into what’s going on right here, right now.

Journaling, for me, is first and foremost a mindfulness tool. It helps me connect with the present moment and be in the now, unapologetically. It helps me to know what’s going on with me in this moment here.

Even at my most frazzled or anxiety-filled, I’m able to connect with my inner state, once I start to put pen to paper. Instead of projecting into the past or future, I am able to see the present clearly. Journaling slows me down so that this can happen. Otherwise, sometimes I can wind up simply racing to the next moment without that check-in.

Journaling clears the cobwebs.

If I’m feeling stuck, unsure of what to say or what to do next, or if I’m unable to focus, journaling clears the cobwebs. Once I start that check-in I mentioned above, the brain fog seems to dissipate. It clears out the mental and emotional cobwebs. It leaves me feeling fresh and awake.

Much like taking some deep breaths, journaling gets the blood flowing and once I’ve begun, the rest seems to flow easily.

Journaling dissolves the overwhelm.

Journaling helps me to focus on one thing at a time. When I’m in that space, I can only do that one thing. It helps me to single-task and bring myself fully into the process.

Once I’m there, things feel solvable. In fact, I can chew over the same problem for days – and when I start to journal about it? The solution presents itself easily. If I’m overwhelmed with too many projects, tasks or thoughts, journaling helps to sort them out.

I actually use to-do lists as a form of journaling. Instead of trying to remember everything in my head, and stressing myself out, journaling gives me a place to put everything that’s on my mind. That way I don’t have to carry those thoughts around with me. They’re right there in my journal.

Journaling helps me to remember – my own wisdom, my most heartfelt beliefs, and what is most important.

Journaling is ultimately a way for me to engage with my highest self and my truest inner voice. It’s a way for me to be in touch with my intuition – and to remember the big picture. I’m able to clear the cobwebs and overwhelm of minutiae and to find myself again. Journaling isn’t about self-indulgence.

It’s an act of self-knowledge and self-care. Tending to the parts of myself that I might otherwise ignore or forget. Journaling is an act of remembrance again and again. No matter how long I’ve forgotten, journaling helps me to remember my inner wisdom.

Journaling is part of how I engage with self-care, beginning with a good check-in.

In order to bring my whole self more fully into my self-care, it helps to know where I stand. If I’m out of sorts, if I’m high energy, if I’m longing to create. Journaling helps to give me that information and insight on myself.

My journal is also a neutral and safe place to put my thoughts: to vent, to question, to dream. No pressure, no expectations. There’s no need to “fix” anything. It doesn’t get wrapped up in a neat bow. It’s just my way of knowing what the weather looks like in my own atmosphere.

10 self-care journal prompts to tap into your intuition. Get more free self-care resources right here! >> www.christytending.comWant to get started with journaling? Here are 10 prompts to get you started:

What do I know to be true in this moment?

Start with “I” statements and felt experiences.

What is happening in my body, right now?

Notice the sensations, experiences, memories, or patterns that are arising.

What will tomorrow look like?

In a perfect world, how would it go? Write it all in the affirmative and in the past tense – as though it has already happened.

What do I want more of in my life?

And what am I ready to let go of?

Who and what am I grateful for – and *why*?

What do I most want to say to someone?

Write that person a letter. It could be about them, or it could just be your way of connecting and sharing your heart with them. No need to send it, naturally.

What’s my high and low?

Your best moment and your toughest moment from today, this week, this year. Get in touch with and really feel both of those moments. Honor yourself in both your good and difficult times.

What questions am I facing right now?

Write out any decisions you have to make, anything you’re unsure of, and any questions you’re grappling with at the moment. You don’t need to answer them, just get them all out on paper and acknowledge the uncertainty with tenderness.

What does my intuition say?

About those big questions – or about any area of your life, really. What does that little voice inside say about it?

Sometimes Quitting is the Best Self-Care

July 6, 2017

Sometimes quitting is the best self-care. You don't have to stay in a rotten situation to make an impact. Learn how >> www.christytending.com

You know that old story about the guy who was hitting himself with a hammer:

“Why are you hitting yourself with a hammer?,” asks his friend.

“Because it feels so good when I stop.”

Good lord.

That’s a brutal story, but it cuts to the heart of what I think we do so often, as people who want to make a difference, want to make the world a better place, want to heal. We make ourselves small, hurt, less-than, all for the cause.

This is something that took me forever to learn, but I know to be incredibly true:

Sometimes Quitting is the Best Self-Care.

I’m not talking about flaking here. Quitting well has a nobility that ghosting lacks. When offered with integrity, quitting can be freedom, and it can be self-care, in its purest definition. It can lead to healing, sacred action, and deeper impact.

But all the same, I want you to know that sticking it out indefinitely, in a bad situation, is not what your life was meant to be.

I have two stories that prove this point.

  1. I got a job that I thought was my dream job. It actually was my dream job. But the specifics of being in the day-to-day reality of the job made it a not-great fit. I was crushed. I felt like I was doing good work and I was learning a lot. The work itself was varied, challenging and impactful.But being in the job itself, with its very specific constellation of characters, was… not good. I started having anxiety attacks, dreading going to work, and booking myself into windowless conference rooms to escape the reality of being at the office. It was a bad scene.

    The worst part? I knew I wasn’t being as effective as I could be, because I was going through the motions with a hearty mix of stress and indifference.

  2. I had a relationship with someone I cared for deeply. Except he didn’t care about me at all. AT ALL.It was this strange pendulum swing of “I love you/go away” that I held onto for more than two years.

    I really have nothing more to add to that than: YIKES.

 

Quitting isn’t easy.

In both of these situations, I resisted quitting. I wondered who I would be without the piece of my identity attached to each of these: job, relationship. I wondered if I would be just as miserable out on my own. It’s in my molecular makeup to stick it out, try to make it work, and muscle my way through to a solution that works.

But in both cases, quitting (with grace, with kindness, and with clear communication) was the healthiest, best thing I could have given myself. Often in work that’s geared toward healing and making change, we trick ourselves (or others trick us) into thinking that if we really cared, we’d put up with anything.

We’re bamboozled into thinking that making a difference needs to be hard. We think that if we quit one job, one project, one relationship, that we just don’t care enough. But I think it’s the opposite:

 

Quitting lets us devote ourselves to what truly matters to us.

It lets us find our real dream job. Our actual right-fit relationship. We find the place where we can truly dig in and make the positive impact we were meant to.

This is what my signature program, Sacred Focus, is all about. Saying no so that we can bring more of our phenomenal, precious attention to what truly matters. In that place, we amplify our impact and love our lives more.

 

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New self-care tips you may not have tried

June 26, 2017

Maternity leave has left me with a lot of time to think about self-care: what it means, what it looks like, and how it shifts over time. I am lucky, because I’m going into motherhood with a strong self-care foundation that I can draw on, even as my identity shifts dramatically, and as I’m going through a deep healing process. These self-care tips may offer you some of the insight I wish I’d had when I entered this process.

This is what I’ve been musing during long periods of rest and slow walks in the sun with my babe.

Behold: some new self-care tips (and lessons) you may not have tried before.

Brand-new self-care tips you may not have tried already. Fun self-care ideas to make your practice meaningful and healing. Plus explore the free self-care resource library! -- www.christytending.com

If self-love or self-care aren’t possible, try self-respect.

A few weeks ago, I wrote to my email list:

“In moments of overwhelm, we’re being clobbered with the message that we need to do it all – including offer ourselves aspirational self-care in every moment. The message goes something like: “We need to be doing it all, and anything less than that is not enough.”

This (surprise!) doesn’t actually reduce our overwhelm. In fact, it can make the self-care that we’re “supposed” to be giving ourselves feel far away.

This narrative was tough to shake when my self-care practice shifted to accommodate a new baby.

If I really cared, wouldn’t I be doing all the things?

As it turned out, no.

In this new season of my life, I’m discovering something else. This new companion is there when self-care can’t be. It is there in moments of not feeling like enough.

These days, I am practicing self-respect.

On a daily basis, I offer myself deep respect: for what I do, for what I have done, for what I give. Even on days when it feels like I didn’t do anything, I try to respect myself for what I did manage.

In your moments of overwhelm, I would like to invite you into a space of deep reverence for yourself. It’s decidedly less sexy than a manicure, and way less fun than a massage. It is tough, but important work.

It is also not easy to acknowledge our amazingness in a society that tells us we aren’t enough. But this act of sincere, reverent witnessing is powerful.

Self-respect honors all that you do, even when it doesn’t feel like enough. It is a permission slip to take up space. It is a reminder of our sincere efforts to make the world around us a little more kind – even when we don’t see results right away.

Today, I want to invite you to take just a moment to honor yourself and your efforts. It is not easy to show up in this world as a person who cares. I appreciate you for being willing to do that.”

Break it into the smallest pieces

Self-care doesn’t need to be time-consuming. It can be simple and brief, just so long as it’s intentional. Even just a few deep breaths might support you through your day. Taking baby steps is the key to awesome self-care.

In fact, I recommend against diving into a time-consuming complicated self-care practice when you’re first starting out. Go slow. Break it down into bite-sized pieces.

This will keep you out of a state of overwhelm, which will only discourage you from further self-care. And you’ll experience real success. Let this success build on itself slowly.

The fact is, self-care is a life-long practice. You can’t do it all in one day. So, proceed with gentleness and don’t add more to your plate than you can hand.

Three tips for making it a little more manageable:

  • Don’t try to do it all – and definitely don’t try to do it all at once

  • Claim the smallest “wins.”

  • Do those small things with great love and sincere attention.

     


Looking for more effective, doable self-care tips? Explore the Free Self-Care Resource Garden, and receive my weekly e-letter, full of resources, inspiration, and exclusive self-care tips and lessons from me.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Joy – and self-care – are acts of insurrection.

Embracing our joy can be an act of outright defiance and resistance.

Those who would seek to oppress others want to create suffering. Yes, suffering is a natural part of life. But we do not need to succumb, necessarily. We can dance and sing and be unapologetically ourselves. In the face of a government that would seek to make those selves “less than” – to hold ourselves up in our beauty and our joy is a wildly optimistic, rebellious act.

“Joy doesn’t betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a fine initial act of insurrection.” – Rebecca Solnit

In Sacred Focus, I talk a lot about creating more of what you want, and less of what you don’t. Little by little, taking baby steps in the direction of what feels sacred to us. Joy does this on a subliminal level. It lights the way for us to create a new world.

Joy imagines the world in which we want to live.

Instead of only focusing on what we don’t want (which is important, too, but not the point of this post), we can take a more proactive approach. We can start building the world we want to live in by following where joy points us. It is a pre-figurative tool to create new models and a new world in which all people and beings are honored for who they are.

Intention orients us – and reorients us – toward our true north.

To make self-care meaningful, it needs to have intention behind it. Otherwise, we’re just going through the motions, adding more to our plates and following others’ “shoulds.” All of these defeat the purpose of self-care. Plus, when we’re in that place of “shoulds” or detachment, our self-care lacks resonance.

When we bring intention to our self-care – when we claim how we want to show up, even if only for a brief time – we create care that nourishes us. It heals us and brings us back to our true selves. Making self-care just another crappy thing on your to-do list? That takes you farther from yourself.

By aiming ourselves toward our highest intention, day after day or moment after moment, we keep ourselves aligned with what is meaningful, resonant, and true for us. When we’re in that spot, self-care is something we will be drawn back to, again and again.

Intention isn’t a goal. It’s about the tone and energy you want to embody. It’s how you show up and inhabit yourself and your life. Start there.


Looking for more effective, doable self-care tips? Explore the Free Self-Care Resource Garden, and receive my weekly e-letter, full of resources, inspiration, and exclusive self-care tips and lessons from me.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Your intuition is magic.

You are incredibly wise. To a great extent, you already know what to do. Don’t be afraid to check in with yourself and your intention on a regular basis.

This self-knowledge is not only self-care in and of itself, but it may pave the way for your self-care to be truly your own. The times when I’ve felt regret have been when I didn’t follow my gut/heart/intuition – rarely to never do I feel that way when I listen to my inner voice.

Learning to trust and believe in the magic of your intuition is a beautiful way to experience self-care. It is, ultimately, compassion for and faith in yourself.

Try this:

Close your eyes right now, take some deep breaths and ask yourself this question: “What would feel good right now?” Listen to the answer, then try to offer yourself some of that.

The answer you receive may surprise you. You may learn something new about what your body, mind, and spirit are craving. But this inner voice is to believed and trusted. This is what it means to be an expert in yourself.

Which leads me to…

Figure out what is essential for you.

A shower every day is essential… For me.
For you, it might be something else. But whatever it is, find your non-negotiable self-care practice and make it happen.
It might sound obvious, but self-care should be incredibly personal. It should be customized to suit your needs. Self-care doesn’t need to impress anyone else. But it should fill your well. Which means that it’s different for everyone.
Part of what I teach in Sacred Focus is figuring out what’s essential, necessary, and sacred for you – so that you can do more of it. When you know what nourishes you, heals you, and brings you joy, you can act accordingly. But first, you need to know yourself well enough to say what that is.
It may not be what everyone else is doing, but I guarantee that it will make your self-care so much more effective.

Looking for more effective, doable self-care tips? Explore the Free Self-Care Resource Garden, and receive my weekly e-letter, full of resources, inspiration, and exclusive self-care tips and lessons from me.
Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

On generosity (aka: *all* the free self-care resources)

May 23, 2017

I wrote a while back about what dana (generosity in the Pali language) means to me.

For me, it’s an essential ingredient to the work that I do. It’s an intrinsic part of how I do business, conduct my relationships, and offer service in the world. Without the spirit of generosity, our burnout is assured.

When we move from a place of giving wholeheartedly, we can offer ourselves in a way that is well-boundaried, yet completely enthusiastic.

On generosity (aka: *all* the free self-care resources). Explore the Free Resource Garden, a treasure trove of workbooks, audio practices, video workshops, and other goodies to empower you and help you feel more embodied in your self-care. >> www.christytending.com

 

That’s where the magic happens – and part of how we avoid burnout.

Today, I want to take a little time to walk you through my Free Resource Garden, a totally-free collection of self-care resources designed to empower, inspire and nourish you.

 

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

 

In case you haven’t strolled through the garden recently, here’s what’s there,
to help you bloom:

Planners and checklists

The Retreat Planner & Checklist shows you, step-by-step, how to create your own self-care retreat.

The Real Self-Care Planner has been downloaded 2,000+ times and used by people all over the world. Inside, create a practice from scratch, no matter how busy you are.

Workbooks

My workbooks, Crafting Your Life, Care for Every Moment, and Setting Intention, are all designed to help you make your self-care truly custom.

Listen

Enjoy mp3s to feel more embodied and empowered through breath and meditation.

There’s also a Spotify playlist, with some of my favorite music – my go-to playlist for unwinding at the end of the day or while I’m making dinner.

Read

The Liberatory Self-Care Manifesto was my first articulation of what I think self-care should be: custom, intuitive, feasible. There’s also a meditation toolkit, walking you through how to get started with a practice that feels engaged and compassionate.

*New*: video workshops, on demand

Since I’m taking a break from teaching my live workshops this summer, I’ve put some of my favorites inside the garden for you to enjoy on-demand.

You’ll now find videos for Introduction to Awesome Self-Care and Meditation for Self-Care, each about an hour long, inside the garden.

Other inspiring goodies

There are community practices, desktop wallpapers, and resource guides – plus more coming soon! These resources include the actual, real-life things that I’m reading, watching, listening to, loving, and feeling inspired by in my own practice.

The Free Resource Garden beckons you.

This is how I incorporate generosity into my work: by giving away as much as possible for free. By delivering value and a clear sense of what it’s like to work with me – before you pay a dime.

This is part what justice looks like in my work. These resources are available to all.

Of course, this work is also how I support my family. But I always begin with this:

How can I give as generously as possible? What does wholehearted giving look like?

I move into the world from the answers that come. And I’ll say: it feels pretty good.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Dissolving Resistance to Create Awesome Self-Care

March 27, 2017

I hear a lot of self-care myths in my work. I know that sometimes self-care gets a bad rap – or that it seems just out of reach. Luckily for all of us, I know in my heart that not only is self-care possible – but that it can be amazing.

But before we can truly accept self-care as something of which we are deserving (and therefore make a truly nourishing experience), we need to dissolve some of our resistance to caring for ourselves.

There are a million self-care myths and so many narratives that reinforce the idea that self-care is selfish or out of reach. Dissolve your resistance to self-care in order to create truly awesome self-care. Plus, download your free self-care planner inside! >> www.christytending.com

Let’s look at some of the myths about self-care and see if we can move them out of the way, shall we?

“I’m so busy!”

Self-care doesn’t need to be time-consuming. It can be simple and brief, just so long as it’s intentional. Even just a few deep breaths might support you through your day. Taking baby steps is the key to awesome self-care.

In fact, I recommend against diving into a time-consuming complicated self-care practice when you’re first starting out. Go slow. Break it down into bite-sized pieces.

This will keep you out of a state of overwhelm, which will only discourage you from further self-care. And you’ll experience real success. Let this success build on itself slowly.

The fact is, self-care is a life-long practice. You can’t do it all in one day. So, proceed with gentleness and don’t add more to your plate than you can hand.

“I can’t afford it!” or “I need more stuff before I can start!”

Um, no. (I’ll refer you to this blog post. And this one over here.)

It’s a myth that self-care is all bubble baths, overflowing bowls of bon-bons, or a Hawaiian vacation. But you can begin your self-care right here and now. Self-care begins as an interior experience: nothing fancy, just you and your heart.

You don’t even need to get off the couch. You can start with your interior narrative. It’s possible to start practicing self-care without spending a single dime. Because the heart of self-care is self-compassion and mindful presence.

“I don’t know where to start!” or “I don’t know how!”

You don’t need any kind of special training. Why? Because you are already the expert in your own experience. You might need a little inspiration, but no one knows you better than you. Which means you don’t need a guru.

You just need to be present.

Begin by setting an intention. Start with a few deep breaths. Have a glass of water. Whatever the smallest action is that you can think of that would feel good right now, do that.

The fact is, we are all the experts in our own experience. So often, we already know exactly what we need to feel good.

“I feel guilty!”

The truth is, you are inherently deserving of incredible self-care. In fact, self-care can often be the gateway to dissolving guilt.

Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s survival. In a world that supports so many systems of oppression, it can be difficult to remember that you are not as disposable as everything else it manufactures. You are not disposable at all. You are a precious human deserving of love.

(Ahh… does that feel better?)

I created The Real Self-Care Toolkit to dissolve these myths and empower you in your self-care so you can live a more mindful, joyful, and heart-felt life.

Look, I know.

Our culture loves to teach us that we aren’t good enough – that we don’t have enough, do enough, or exist perfectly enough.

But that’s a nasty lie. We are perfect and deserving exactly as we are. Self-care isn’t something you earn, it’s a birthright. We are all worthy of compassionate action on our own behalf.

No matter what the powers that be say, you can claim self-care any time you like.

I believe in that, and I believe in you.

It’s why I created The Real Self-Care Toolkit with you (and your actual life) in mind.

Or, start by downloading your free planner:

Creating Self-Care That’s Custom (not cookie-cutter)

March 20, 2017

Excellent self-care is self-care that's truly custom – never cookie-cutter. Learn how to create your own custom self-care plan. Plus grab your free self-care planner inside! >> www.christytending.com

When I work with groups (usually in non-profit settings) to help them develop self-care, there are always a few skeptics in the room. “What if I’m not into ‘woo-woo’ things?” they ask. “What if I like going to the movies or dancing in clubs to unwind?” “What if I [they always get quiet] hate yoga and meditation?”

All good questions. And I will tell you, I’m never, ever offended, even though I’ve been a yoga and meditation practitioner my whole adult life. Why?

Because I know that my self-care won’t look like your self-care.

Self-care is different for everyone. In order to be self-care, it need to be custom, not cookie-cutter.

Different things that feel good and rightful for them.

Each of us has a different schedule, budget, source of inspiration. We have a different set of priorities, interests, and things that bring us joy and healing. We have different bodies and unique personalities that shape what feels nourishing, replenishing, and healing.

Custom self-care honors our unique selves with unique care.

So, when I’m teaching in groups, I never offer a self-care prescription. It’s more like a treasure hunt or a choose your own adventure. It’s not something that anyone can ever create for you.

For self-care do its true restorative work, it needs to be completely customized to you. Like a fingerprint.

Custom self-care honors your sacredness.

Cookie-cutter self-care only squelches your spirit.

Your custom self-care may not even look the same day to day, week to week, or season to season.

This is truly custom self-care: care that adapts itself to your ever-changing life and ever-evolving needs. Once you understand this, and how to create this customized self-care, you have a practice that will last you a lifetime. Because it’s never over. There is always an opportunity for that restorative healing to take place – whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

If you’re looking to create custom self-care, I recommend beginning with these three questions:

(Seriously, take out a journal or notebook and answer each of these for yourself.)

What do I know?

You are already an intuitive expert in yourself. In fact: no one will ever know you as well as you already know yourself. Which means that you’re the person best positioned to be an advocate and champion of your self-care.

Write down: What do you already know about yourself? What information is already available to you?

What is my life actually like?

Not the life you wish you had. Not your Pinterest-perfect life. And not even your Instagram-filtered life.

Your real, actual life. No fixing or filtering.

This doesn’t mean you can’t make meaningful life changes. It just means that, for today, your self-care needs to meet your actual reality face-to-face in order to be effective and to feel joyful.

What are the circumstances that lead you to seek self-care? What are the limitations in your way? Finally: what is possible, right here and now? Begin there. Don’t be afraid to evolve, but be even less cautious about beginning.

What feels good?

This is important, and loops us back to those initial questions I get from my skeptics. What feels good for me, won’t necessarily feel good (or even be appropriate) for you. Which is totally okay!

It just means that you need to get really clear on what does feel good. What lights you up? When do you feel most yourself? What kinds of activities are you always glad you did?

Knowing yourself well enough to know what brings you pleasure is a deeply important dimension of self-care. While self-care can lead us to uncomfortable truths or through tough emotions, most of the time, it should be something that brings us comfort, joy, and a sense of well-being.

 

Related:

Creating a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

March 13, 2017

Sometimes, life can be overwhelming. Learn how to create a quiet life (in the midst of a noisy world). Plus grab your seat for the free self-care mini-course inside! >> www.christytending.com

If you’re a quiet, sensitive person, it can feel like the world is SO LOUD sometimes. Like everyone is shouting, even over the Internet. If you’re drawn to create something big, it can be a challenge to do that in what feels like a maelstrom of input and sound and shouty-ness.

If you’re looking to create more quiet in your everyday life, start here.

Set intention

Why are you looking for more quiet?

What are you hoping to heal? What are you hoping to find?

Defining the purpose of the quieter life can be a huge gift. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel selfish or anti-social. There is intentionality accompanying the dream.

Of course, you never have to justify why you’re seeking more quiet and stillness, but knowing your intention can help you cultivate it with less drama. It can also be a nice guide for friends or family who can’t understand why you’re suddenly shushing them or switching off the TV at random. Know what you’re hoping to create in place of the noise.

Discover and trust your rhythm

When and where are you looking to create more quiet? What times of day make sense for you to be more quiet? Are there times when external stimuli seem to be more upsetting for your nervous system?

Notice and trust your natural rhythm.

For some, creating more quiet in the hour(s) before bedtime makes the most sense. Others prefer to wake slowly and make their way into the day more gently. Notice what works (or doesn’t) for you. Are there particular times or circumstances where you’re drawn to be more quiet, naturally?

Trust that information and allow your rhythms to guide you, rather than forcing your natural flow into an artificial pattern.

Create boundaries

Once you know your intention, and have a handle on your rhythms, you can begin to create a respectful container in which they can thrive.

This is highly personal. But notice: what kinds of boundaries do you need? Are they boundaries with others? Or is it more about internal boundaries and structure?

Offer yourself what you need. Boundaries can be your best friends, if you create them in a way that reflects your needs. Maybe it’s around certain times of day, certain people, or certain types of media. Maybe it’s limiting your exposure to social media, the news, or particular foods. No matter what boundaries you need, you don’t need to apologize.

Life can feel noisy, boundaries can dampen the sound and create a filter for what we’re consuming so that we can feel less overwhelmed.

Dedicate quiet time

I set aside time every week to be silent. This means that I’m also not accepting external input in the form of sound, either, aside from ambient natural sounds and sounds from my neighborhood. It’s a time to turn inward. There is silence, but the silence isn’t just there for me to fill.

It can exist for its own sake.

It can nourish in its own way.

I can accept the present moment, without needing to alter it with my words, with music, or with technology.

This time is sacred and gives my brain the opportunity to integrate all of the input it accepts on a daily (hourly, really) basis. Sometimes, I don’t use the time for anything in particular. Sometimes, I meditate. Other times, I’m struck with inspiration and spend the time journaling, sketching or teasing out the fragile details of my day dreams.

In that quiet space, I don’t get sidetracked, and my ideas have the space to germinate and grow.

Switch off everything that doesn’t need to be on

The lights.

The phone notifications.

The ready-alert instinct in your brain.

If you’re seeking more quiet, walk through your house (or your own mind) and look at what you can switch to off. When I disabled all of the notifications on my phone, life suddenly became so much more still and easeful. My attention could finally rest in the present, where I wanted it to be.

Not only was it literally less noisy, but I could also drop the vigilance that had become my default setting. I wasn’t constantly waiting for the next interruption. I could simply be in the moment.

Similarly, bright screens and overhead lights go off at 9pm in my house. I switch my phone to airplane mode. I am off-duty at that point. My time and energy and attention is truly my own.

 

Related:

What is your Sacred Focus?

Edit Your Schedule

On Devotion

 

The Golden Rules of Tending Myself

January 9, 2017

At the time this post goes live, I’ll be heading off on a seven-day silent meditation retreat. No phones, no talking, no outside communication. Just me, my brain, my body, and my practice. In honor of that, here’s what’s true for me. Remembering this is how I tend myself.

tending-myself

One of my all-time favorite things to do is podcast interviews. (Psst! ) It is so much fun to jam with like-minded, brilliant people about the nuances of self-care and how we bring it to life. Yum.

I’m asked a lot what I believe self-care is – and what my self-care practice looks like. While I talk a lot about what I believe self-care is (and a little about what it isn’t), I wanted to take a minute to break down what my gold standard for self-care is.

Without these guidelines in place, things start to wobble, and I start feeling like a hot mess.

This is how I have my own back. It’s what works for me. When I forget to keep these snugly in place, I suffer. When I try to make my life or flow look like someone else’s, that’s when things go off the rail.

If I’m really tending myself well, this is what happens. And in my heart, even when I think I don’t know what to do, this is what I works in my life.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Dear Christy,

Here’s what I know about you:

  • A hot shower fixes a lot. When things get tough, massage your scalp with hot water. And towel yourself off with something soft.
  • Stay political, involved, and fired-up. The cure of apathy or depression is not inaction. It seems hard, but getting off the couch and seeing your community for two hours and plotting how you’re going to change the world will leave you better than it found you.
  • Your family comes first always. Look up from your phone and kiss your husband. Put down your work and snuggle your cat. Call your mom. And so forth. You’re always glad you did.
  • Go see some trees. Like, today.
  • Walk a mile a day. Slowly, if needed.
  • Drink chai in the sun. Or drink chai while watching the rain.
  • Don’t ever stop drinking coffee in the mornings with your man. That shit is what life-long love is made of.
  • Take the time you need to just veg out and do nothing. Believe and respect your introversion enough to support it rather than change it.
  • Don’t compare your middle to their end. Or their anything.
  • Practice compersion or mudita or anything else you need to in order to stay out of a competition mindset. There is enough.
  • Similarly: make your own stuff. Make it the best it can be, pack it and ship it. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

When things feel tough:

  • Gossip less. Speak even more compassionately, if possible, when people are out of the room than when they’re in it.
  • If you’re feeling down on yourself, make something.
  • Be as generous as possible. Give it all away. Leave it all on the field.
  • Don’t forget your Sacred Focus. Every single day is a gift, so allow the magic in by holding close what matters most.
  • Embrace discomfort, growth, and the space of not-knowing. Try to learn something every day.
  • Respect how deeply your body is working to heal and be of service. Love it for that.
  • Go look at some mountains.
  • Find a way to be of service every single day. Be a vessel for healing.
  • Do other stuff, so you have more interesting things to talk about than your business.
  • Believe and respect your intuition.
  • Laugh, a lot.
  • Hustle does not mean hardship or suffering. Hustle when it’s light out, then pack it in.
  • When all else fails, give it all over to the universe or god or the infinite mystery. It really worked that one time, remember?

And finally…

  • No one asked you to be a martyr.
  • Read that article in the New Yorker than Dan recommended. It’s probably really good.
  • Unsubscribe to blogs and newsletters that don’t lift you up.
  • Phones in airplane mode after 9pm. Snuggle the cat or read poetry. Get off h*ckin’ Twitter.
  • Have dreams and goals and pursue them with reckless abandon and enthusiasm.
  • A yearly plan is good news.
  • Don’t be afraid of devotion.
  • Get cozy with your spirit and your spirit guides. Allow them the space and quiet to speak.
  • Get a massage once a month.
  • Eat avocados, pineapple, chocolate, berries, nettle tea, ginger, yogurt, kale, tofu, and sweet potatoes. And pasta with cream sauce when you feel like it. Eat according to your body’s own incredible wisdom.
  • Sleep however much you need to. Nap more. Go to sleep as early as you like, in a dark room and don’t set an alarm. Your body is doing remarkable healing and sleep is part of its medicine.
  • Keep your healing team warmed up.

It sounds like a lot, but…

This is how I have my back. This is how I best show up in my life, as my best self. Most of all, this is how I come home to myself. It’s what self-solidarity looks like in my life and how I walk my self-care talk.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

You & Me: self-care, healing & revolution in 2017

January 2, 2017

I really like clarity and giving generously.

Do you also like clarity? Are you interested in connecting? (With me, even?) Great! Here’s the scoop on all of the self-care, healing, and revolution that will be happening here in 2017!

You can make 2017 your most amazing and meaningful year ever. Check out resources for self-care, healing, and revolution, and click here to download your free workbook! >> www.christytending.com

Since there are some big changes in the works for this coming year. I wanted to give you a sneak-peek at what’s afoot for 2017.

This includes awesome new things, magical shifts, and even spiffy things you may not have known that I offer. In addition to how we can work together, I also wanted to share a bit about how I’ll be working behinds the scenes this year, as well. As I welcome big changes into my life, I’m welcoming some evolution into my business as well.

You and me: self-care, healing and revolution.

This year ahead is going to test us all. We are going to need our self-care more than ever. We will need to deepen still our practices, our capacity for healing, and our vision for a compassionate world.

My goals for 2017 are really very simple:

Be of generous service.

Simplify.

Trust the process.

I’m honored to walk this path with you, and I’m humbled, as ever, to serve you. Below, I’m breaking down exactly how this is unfolding in my work, to give you a good sense of how we can connect in this coming year. I’m so looking forward the next steps!

(No spoilers, but skip down to “In the future…” for one of my big, shiny announcements!)

 

Sacred Focus

Sacred Focus is my flagship course.

As ever, I’m thrilled to be offering this course, in a more robust format than ever in 2017. It opens for registration a few times a year – you can get on the waitlist for early registration (and early-bird pricing!) right here.

In nine modules and nine video masterclasses, you’ll de-overwhelm your life and cultivate a self-care and spiritual practice that lights you up. You’ll also be invited to quarterly special events available *only* for my Sacred Focus students. (There’s a Spring Equinox day-long coming up on March 20th!)

This is my very best work and an accessible way to get lots of personal attention from me through quarterly small-group events.

 

Sign up for the waitlist to be the first to know when the course opens.

Self-Paced Courses and Toolkits

Looking to deepen your self-care? I offer self-care courses and toolkits that are available year-round. You don’t need to wait to dive into lovingkindness meditation with Hella Metta or a truly awesome self-care practice inside Real Self-Care.

All of these are available on demand and look deeply at the essential building blocks of my own self-care and self-healing practice.

 

The free self-care resource garden and my e-letter, Tending the Light

Every Tuesday, I send a sweet, encouraging letter that’s exclusive to folks on my list. I also include articles you might enjoy, extra resources, and even occasional discounts.

The best part? You get access to my free self-care resource garden. It’s always my aim to make my work as accessible as possible. As such, you’ll find a treasure trove of *totally free* self-care practices, workbooks, video workshops, and more. Want the secret password? Sign up right here.


Create more ease and fabulous self-care with the Crafting Your Life Workbook from Christy Tending. Grab yours here -- www.christytending.com (1)Want to get started with all kinds of amazing self-care for the new year?

Download Crafting Your Life, my free workbook with essential questions that will guide you in making 2017 an incredible year! >>

 

 


Live speaking events

Getting in front of a live audience lights me up like a Christmas tree. In the last year, I’ve spoken at conferences like Soil Not Oil and Powershift. I’ve led workshops for non-profit organizations’ retreats and at universities.

I would love to talk with you about speaking at your event, conference or organization. for my rates and to discuss what I can bring to your audience.

Live online workshops

I love teaching workshops online. Every month, I offer a couple of different (free, live) learning opportunities, where I dive deep into self-care and self-healing practices that you can bring into your real life.

There’s always plenty of time for Q&A with me, plus awesome exclusive bonuses for attending live. These are some of my favorite ways to share learning and to connect with you. Browse the workshop calendar here and grab your spot!

My blog

I write about self-care practices, healing burnout, and what’s worked for me in my own practice over on the blog. I share my favorite resources and my sacred routines. As I welcome January, the schedule looks something like: new blog posts on Mondays; a Collective Care interview on Wednesdays, and my Sacred Circle round-ups on Fridays.

This will likely shift to fewer posts as the year progresses. (More on that in a minute.)

There’s quite an archive over there.

In the Future

This is where it gets interesting.

Sometime in late April, my family will be expanding! I’m so excited to announce that a new baby will be joining me, my sweetie, and our cats, Dorothy & Harriet in all of our adventures. Yes, we are thrilled. Yes, I’m feeling great and am loving this new dimension of my self-care. No, I’m not sure the cats have any idea what’s going on.

What this means for our work together

I’m going to take some time off from being a full-time self-care mentor, between when our sweet peanut arrives in the spring and the beginning of August. During my maternity leave, I’ll be offering my weekly e-letter, as well as blogs on a more sporadic basis.

I plan to resume live workshops and other more active teaching later in the summer.

But part of the beauty of this space is that you can dive into (most of) my courses or toolkits at any time and work through them at your own pace.

 

It is always a joy and privilege to do this work and to share it. Thank you for being here. I look forward to connecting in the new year.


Create more ease and fabulous self-care with the Crafting Your Life Workbook from Christy Tending. Grab yours here -- www.christytending.com (1)Want to get started with all kinds of amazing self-care for the new year?

Download Crafting Your Life, my free workbook with essential questions that will guide you in making 2017 an incredible year! >>

 

Related:

Less (but Better)

Two Types of Busy

Magic and the Sacred Everyday