Entries organized under Sacred Focus

My Word for 2019: Relentless

November 29, 2018

Relentless: my word for 2019! Sign up for the live, online self-care workshop! >> www.christytending.com

I get started thinking about my word for the coming year sometime in September or October. (You can read all of my Word of the Year posts here.)

Some years, a word (or pair of words) pops into my mind, unbidden. Sometimes, it’s about what I’m searching for. Other times, it’s about what I need to call into my life in order to be who the year will need me to be. Sometimes, it’s all wishful thinking.

This year was something different.

This year, I’ve wandered around, hoping the word would find me. I’ve shied away from anything that smacks of “should.” And I’ve been equally wary of anything that seems too easy. I knew the word would arrive.

Like the moon. Like the cat who settles down by my belly every night to sleep. Like a small paper package on my doorstep: not remarkable, per se, but undecidedly for me. All mine.

So I waited, patiently. And every time I would look for the word, I’d hold myself back. “No, sweetheart. Just wait,” that inner voice would whisper. “It will be here in time.” This is always the best lesson: persistent patience. To always quest, and always be still in the meantime.

Then, I read this, about the brilliant pastor, Eugene Peterson, who recently passed away:

“Eugene Peterson’s son Leif said at the funeral that his dad only had one sermon – that he had everyone fooled for 29 years of pastoral ministry, that for all his books he only had one message.

It was a secret Leif said his dad had let him in on early in life. It was a message that Leif said his dad had whispered in his heart for 50 years, words he had snuck into his room to say over him as he slept as a child:

“God loves you.
God is on your side.
He is coming after you.
He is relentless.”

And I knew:

My word for 2019 is Relentless.

It’s not about being the best or the most. It’s not about a particular outcome or the way things will look. Relentless, for me, is something else. It is free of expectation of accomplishment. This word, as I turn it over in my mind, doesn’t have any sharp edges. It’s more like a river: persistent, moving steadily, without a particular outcome, simply doing what it created itself to do. And this is how I want to be, in my life. Not showy, but ever-present. Resilient in my ability to arrive, again and again, in this moment and to meet that moment as a friend.

Relentlessly loving.

Relentlessly compassionate.

Relentlessly brave.

Relentlessly devoted.

Relentlessly alive.

Relentlessly myself.

Relentless in my quest for climate justice.

Relentless in raising a child who is loved and accepted and exactly himself.

Relentless in imagining a time where we love ourselves fiercely.

Relentless in creating a world with just a little more compassion in it.

In all moments, without exception. I aim to be relentless.

The truth is that I’ve never aimed to be the best. Not the smartest or the fastest or the strongest. I was never at the top of my class. But even as a child, I had a vision of my life. Filled with love, creativity, healing, community, and transformation.

When I was five, I told my mom that I wanted to change the world by helping people feel better. It is an utter privilege to be able to fulfill my own prophecy. Not as the most perfectly-anything. But as my most relentless self.

This is what I’m calling in for 2019.

I’m rising to the challenge. It’s going to be so much fun.

Want to know how I’m crafting my year ahead? Join me for the workshop and I’ll tell you all my secrets. Plan Your Sacred Year was wildly popular and impactful last year, so I’m doing it all again on December 18th*. Live + full-on. Only $27 (although, I’ve added a VIP option this year!)

Grab your seat. Let’s play.

With deep care,
Christy

P.S./FAQ: Yes! There will be a replay. I know the holidays are hectic, so if you need this, but can’t be there live, you’ll have access to the replay for a full 30 days after it airs.

Respect Your Process

February 25, 2018

Respect your process. Allow yourself to be a work in process. There is beauty in imperfection. Get your free self-care worksheet inside! >> www.christytending.com

These days, I’m writing my way out from under a lot. Motherhood. Running a business. Stewarding my health, my relationships, and my spirit. I am stretching into my identity as a creative person and reclaiming a new phase of relationship with my body.

I am snuggling up next to discomfort and growth daily. Everything is in process.

What I really want to tell you is that

I thought I would feel more put together by now.

That I would reach a place in my various roles where I felt like I had it all figured out as an adult, a mother, a boss. (Hint: I don’t.)

When I feel this way, my husband always turns to me and asks, “What would you tell your readers if they told you they felt like this?” He then cocks an eyebrow, because he knows what I’ll say.

And what I want to tell you is this:

We are all doing everything at our own pace. All of us. Me, my child, you. Even the Instagram-perfect leaders. Even the Pinterest-perfect moms.

All of any of us can do is honor our place in our own arc.

And keep deciding how we want to show up for our lives.

What I’ve decided this year is that I want to show up for my life with gentleness. I want this year of my life to feel like an ecstatic, golden moment. Because it is. Even in all its imperfection. Even when I’m making it up as I go.

I want to remember that it is sacred and that I get to decide to show up for it in a way that honors just how incredibly precious it all is.

Does this mean that I’m never frustrated? Heck no. Does this mean that I’m still kind of sleep deprived on the regular? You bet your ass. It just means that I get to choose my narrative. It means that I get to feel gratitude for my place in my arc.

Sure, I could spend time bemoaning how “behind” I feel, how I still don’t feel like I have it all figured out. Or I could double down on devotion, and show up as my full, spectacular, imperfect self with my wholehearted attention. Even – or especially – when it’s hard.

The parts of my life that I care most deeply about, where I’m putting that wholehearted attention and choosing to show up excellently, are what I call my Sacred Focus.

When I keep those front and center, things flow.

When I let myself get bogged down in the things that don’t matter, things go off the rails a bit. Not coincidentally, those things that don’t matter? They don’t honor my arc. They make me feel small and unworthy and un-precious.

This week, I’m choosing yet another layer of softening, a new level of peace with my arc, and steadfast attention to what matters to me deeply. I am inviting discernment along for the ride: to help me see what doesn’t belong and what isn’t serving my process.

If you are feeling messy this week, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. But I also want you to know that

Wherever you are in your process, you deserve respect for continuing to show up.

I guarantee that I am in process with it just as you are, and I am so grateful to be walking this path with you.

Declaration of Sacred Focus (with a free self-care worksheet)

February 23, 2018

A declaration of Sacred Focus: discover and declare what's sacred to you. Get your free self-care worksheet inside! >> www.christytending.com

A Declaration of Sacred Focus.

Sacred practice and self-care can feel a little serious, sometimes, can’t they? Devotion is lovely, but it can veer into drudgery if we’re not careful.

In that spirit, I’ve created a new (free!) fill-in-the-blank worksheet so you can discover and declare your Sacred Focus. Like a grown-up Mad Libs that’s all about self-care and what’s meaningful to you.

Let this be fun and light. Gather with friends and do it together. Print it out and fill it in over and over again, as needed.

If you’re feeling brave, post it to Instagram (and tag me @christytending!).

You can download the worksheet right here.

In this worksheet you’ll explore what feels meaningful, healing, and sacred to you – so that you can create more of it. You’ll commit to intentions and self-care practices. Plus, you’ll craft kind words to speak to yourself.

You’ll even consider what isn’t working – and how you can set those things down.

All of this adds up to Sacred Focus.

What is Sacred Focus, exactly?

Your Sacred Focus is comprised of the 3-5 areas of life 
where you are putting your most wholehearted attention and choosing to show up excellently. It’s a matter of paring things down to what is deeply meaningful so that we can be present there.

Once you have a sense of your Sacred Focus, you can engage in what I call the Art of Self-Advocacy: boldly declaring what we need in order to feel whole and well and like ourselves.

It’s how we harness our unique brilliance.

And it’s how we translate devotion into impact.

Sound good? Download the worksheet right here.

I hope you love it.

Finding Freedom in Discipline

February 15, 2018

Finding freedom in discipline_ how to create good boundaries, liberation, self-care and journaling. Plus get your seat for a free self-care workshop! >> www.christytending.com

Each Wednesday morning, I get into my car. I turn on some sort of uplifting Spotify playlist and I drive 25 minutes to Alameda to my writing class. I sit at a table with a small group of extraordinary women. For two hours, I write, read out loud, and listen to what others have written.

The goal, to hear my teacher explain it, is to write as badly as possible. When the two hours is up, I drive home.

I’ve been doing this since my son was 4.5 months old. Drive. Listen to a poem. Write badly. Read my work. Listen to what others have written. That’s it. It’s the whole thing.

And very little has been as healing and revealing to me in this new phase of life as this writing class.

In its simplicity, it is incredibly challenging.

Each week, I hear my mind start to throw up roadblocks about whether or not I’ll go to my beloved writing class.

It spouts stories about how I could be using the time to be “productive” or how nothing I write is ever any good, so why bother?. I mean, it’s not like I’m made of free time.

But since my stories about how “busy” I am feel both boring and untrue, each Wednesday I get into my car. I drive, I write, and I drive home. This takes discipline.

Each and every week I renew my commitment to showing up. Not just because I already paid for the class, but because there is magic that happens at the table. Because it is a place where I own all of myself.

Within that discipline of showing up at the table to write even (or especially) when it seems frivolous or pointless, there is freedom.

There, I can say whatever I like. I can share the ugly, shameful parts. There is the freedom to suck at something and to be devoted to it nonetheless. It is vulnerable to commit to something and not give up when it feels hard.

But this discipline beckons us back to our humanity, to be in that vulnerability no matter what. It reminds us that we can do hard things and we can survive.

Within that discipline, there is the freedom to sit with the truth. Not to fix it or change it, but to simply sit with it and not look away.

Discipline is often uncomfortable. There is almost always a moment where we want to throw up our hands and walk away. It is also the case that on the other side of that moment, when we realize that we’ve made it past all of that resistance, that we find freedom.

That freedom may not look or feel or sound like what we expect. But there it is.

In that new landscape, we are not prisoners of those narratives that keep us small, but devotees on a pilgrimage to what is possible.

Sending you deep care,
Christy


New from me:

Join me for a free workshop next week!

On February 20th, I’m teaching a (free) Better Boundaries Workshop!

In the workshop, you’ll learn:

  • My top tips and tools for creating awesome boundaries – and communicating them skillfully.
  • One simple practice to clarify your priorities and draw clear boundaries around them.
  • How to create more space for what is sacred through ritual and energetic boundary practices.

Plus ask me all your burning questions (live!) and get awesome workshop-only bonuses!

>> Sign up now! <<


Coming soon:

Doors open later this month for my signature course, Sacred Focus. In response to feedback, this time around, Sacred Focus will unfold as a nine moth program to help you show up excellently for what is most sacred to you. In this course, we will refine what is personally sacred to each of us, and become fluent in this art of self-advocacy. I can’t wait to see you there.

Do Less. Make a Bigger Impact.

September 5, 2017

Grab your seat for this month’s free workshop: Stop Doing Shit You Hate (and make space for what matters) – it’s happening September 12th at noon Pacific.

You don't have to do it all to have a major impact. Do less to make a bigger impact (and avoid burnout in the process). Sign up for the free self-care workshop here! -- www.christytending.com

How often have you felt the pressure (internal or external) to DO ALL THE THINGS?

(Honesty? I totally have. And I used to run myself ragged trying to meet those incredibly unrealistic expectations.)

In my experience, there are two parts to the burnout equation: doing too much and having too few resources.

When we spread ourselves too thin, we end up exhausting ourselves. Which means that the areas of our lives that matter most? They don’t get the best of our resources.

Which means that were less effective. Which means that things feel kind of ​blah​, instead of lit-up.

Oh, and we probably feel like crap.

The secret to being an amazing healer, change-maker or creative human being? You say no a lot. You do less.

It sounds counter-intuitive, but when you operate in your zone of genius and bring your full brilliance to bear in fewer areas, you make a bigger impact.

For years, I spent my time doing the opposite.

I was a dabbler. I did a little bit of everything, but I didn’t do anything particularly well.

Over the last few years, I’ve stopped chasing shiny objects and started focusing deeply on only 3-5 areas of my life at a time.

Right now? I’m focused on building a values-based business, being a great mom, tending my awesome marriage, and nurturing a home that nurtures me back.

That’s it. Sure, I’ve got other things going on, but that’s my focus. That is definitely not ALL THE THINGS–and that’s okay.

When I allow myself to do less, I’m less susceptible to the pressure to do it all.

It means that I’m able to follow through on what I set out to do. My impact can be greater, and at the end of the day, I’ll feel better. To me, that’s integrity–and it’s the hallmark of a sacred life.

With care,
Christy

PS: Want to stop doing shit you hate? Want to do less and make a bigger impact? Grab your seat for my free workshop next week!

What is Enough?

August 22, 2017

Ever feel like you work your ass off all day and it’s never enough? Read on. This one’s for you.

What is enough? You don't have to do it all. Instead, create awesome boundaries to avoid burnout. Sign up for the free self-care course here! >> www.christytending.com

Light Up

A free tiny little self-care class for spirited beings who want to
create a life that's sacred lush and fierce.

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“Even if I work for 40, 50, 60, even 70 hours a week, there’s always more to do. I never feel like I’ve done enough.”

That statement you just read? It’s something I used to say to myself all the time.

The constant refrain of “never enough” echoed through my mind. It’s the first thing I’d say to myself every morning. It’s the last thing I’d think to myself every night.

It didn’t matter if I spent every single moment of my day working. Often, I’d still go to bed feeling disappointed in myself.

Even when my colleagues and I experienced a big victory, rather than pause to celebrate, I’d move quickly onto the next task. There was always something else.

Does that resonate? Are you stuck on the “never enough” hamster wheel, too? If so, here’s a question to consider:

What does “enough” mean for you?

Can you define “enough” in a sentence or two? (Be specific.) Can you describe how “enough” feels in your body?

So many people chase this elusive feeling of “enough.” We feel like we’ve never gotten “there.” And yet many of us don’t even know what we’re chasing, exactly.

Here’s how I currently define “enough”:

At the moment, my self-care looks like a hot shower, drinking plenty of water, and occasional yoga and walking. I read a poem every day. Right now, that’s enough. (Because even self-care can trap us in “never enough” if we let it.)

For me, those are realistic, feasible numbers.

For you, the numbers (and projects, and priorities) might be very different.

But for me, in this chapter of my life, those numbers feel like “enough.”

If I suddenly find myself worrying, “But should I do more…?” I can interrupt those thoughts and remind myself, “I did what I intended to do. And that’s enough.”

My definition of “enough” doesn’t have to be rigid. It can bend and flex.

I give myself the space and flexibility to adjust any/all of those numbers as needed, because I’m a human being, not a robot. Some months I have more bandwidth than others.

So, what does “enough” mean for you—at least, for right now? What does it look like? What does it feel like? Write it down.

If you notice yourself writing lofty and vague goals, consider re-wording that statement to make it more feasible and specific. End each statement with, “That’s enough.”

The work of caring and compassion is limitless. Our human lives are not.

Yes, there is great work to be done. But not all of it can or will be done today. More than anything, we need you for the long haul. Which means doing “enough” and doing it well.

That’s why it’s crucial to place boundaries around our time, and to be compassionate with ourselves about what “doing enough” means. (Instead of trying to “do it all” and half-ass-ing it.)

Look:

Urgency is not an invitation to burnout.

Breaking news does not automatically expand our capacity. Difficult times are really an invitation to go deeper with our practice and to fulfill our purpose with greater love and attention.

There has never been a more important time to bring love to both our work and ourselves. This starts with defining “enough.”

Once you’ve arrived in that place, there’s no need to strive for more. You’ve done your piece, wholeheartedly. And truly, that is plenty.

Light Up

A free tiny little self-care class for spirited beings who want to
create a life that's sacred lush and fierce.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit

Sometimes Quitting is the Best Self-Care

July 6, 2017

Sometimes quitting is the best self-care. You don't have to stay in a rotten situation to make an impact. Learn how >> www.christytending.com

You know that old story about the guy who was hitting himself with a hammer:

“Why are you hitting yourself with a hammer?,” asks his friend.

“Because it feels so good when I stop.”

Good lord.

That’s a brutal story, but it cuts to the heart of what I think we do so often, as people who want to make a difference, want to make the world a better place, want to heal. We make ourselves small, hurt, less-than, all for the cause.

This is something that took me forever to learn, but I know to be incredibly true:

Sometimes Quitting is the Best Self-Care.

I’m not talking about flaking here. Quitting well has a nobility that ghosting lacks. When offered with integrity, quitting can be freedom, and it can be self-care, in its purest definition. It can lead to healing, sacred action, and deeper impact.

But all the same, I want you to know that sticking it out indefinitely, in a bad situation, is not what your life was meant to be.

I have two stories that prove this point.

  1. I got a job that I thought was my dream job. It actually was my dream job. But the specifics of being in the day-to-day reality of the job made it a not-great fit. I was crushed. I felt like I was doing good work and I was learning a lot. The work itself was varied, challenging and impactful.But being in the job itself, with its very specific constellation of characters, was… not good. I started having anxiety attacks, dreading going to work, and booking myself into windowless conference rooms to escape the reality of being at the office. It was a bad scene.

    The worst part? I knew I wasn’t being as effective as I could be, because I was going through the motions with a hearty mix of stress and indifference.

  2. I had a relationship with someone I cared for deeply. Except he didn’t care about me at all. AT ALL.It was this strange pendulum swing of “I love you/go away” that I held onto for more than two years.

    I really have nothing more to add to that than: YIKES.

 

Quitting isn’t easy.

In both of these situations, I resisted quitting. I wondered who I would be without the piece of my identity attached to each of these: job, relationship. I wondered if I would be just as miserable out on my own. It’s in my molecular makeup to stick it out, try to make it work, and muscle my way through to a solution that works.

But in both cases, quitting (with grace, with kindness, and with clear communication) was the healthiest, best thing I could have given myself. Often in work that’s geared toward healing and making change, we trick ourselves (or others trick us) into thinking that if we really cared, we’d put up with anything.

We’re bamboozled into thinking that making a difference needs to be hard. We think that if we quit one job, one project, one relationship, that we just don’t care enough. But I think it’s the opposite:

 

Quitting lets us devote ourselves to what truly matters to us.

It lets us find our real dream job. Our actual right-fit relationship. We find the place where we can truly dig in and make the positive impact we were meant to.

This is what my signature program, Sacred Focus, is all about. Saying no so that we can bring more of our phenomenal, precious attention to what truly matters. In that place, we amplify our impact and love our lives more.

 

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Cultivating Intention to live a more sacred life

April 17, 2017

You can choose your inner state in any moment. Learn to cultivate clear intention to live a more sacred life. Plus, download your free self-care workbook inside! >> www.christytending.com

I believe that setting clear intention is one of the most powerful practices we can use to begin creating a life that feels more sacred. We can begin today. It doesn’t cost a thing. It doesn’t take any special training.

At the beginning of every workshop, I ask students to set their intention for the time we’re going to share. Intention is the tool I use instead of resolutions. I even think they’re more effective than goals at times.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Why intentions over goals? Because goals often rely on exterior circumstances.

Intention allows us to experience what we want to, on an interior level, regardless of what’s going on outside of us. They allow us to be present with ourselves, in integrity, without needing a particular outcome. So, regardless, we can remain our whole, grounded selves.

(Magnifique, non?)

So when it comes to creating a more sacred life, I don’t begin by reaching for the sage or the crystals.

I begin crafting more of what’s sacred from the inside out.

This is my best recipe for success.

First of all, what do I mean by “intention”?

Well, it’s not a goal. It’s not an outcome or a wish I’m hoping will come true.

Instead, it’s the tone that I’m setting for a particular phase of time. It’s the quality I want to embody. My intention is how I’m choosing to show up in a specific scenario, regardless of what happens. It’s how I ground myself and stay close to my heart.

Intention is the heart of integrity.

It keeps us rooted in our values and our truth. It doesn’t change. That intention is the spark for skillful response and action, no matter what. And blessedly, when we remember our intention, we can stay out of reactivity.

It lives independently of any contingency. It is ours to choose in any moment, at any time. If you want to live a life that feels more aligned, integrous, and sacred, begin with clear intention. It gives you a touchstone that you can return to, again and again, aiming yourself in the direction of what feels sacred to you.

So how do we create these intentions that lead to a more sacred life? For me, it is a process – an ongoing journey and practice.

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

 

And, in my experience, this practice
has three main phases:

 

Setting your intention.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Choose a single word or short phrase for how you want to show up in your body and in your life for the next hour. Maybe, after some practice, you stretch this out. Choose an intention for your day or week. Some people find value in choosing a word for the year.

The real action here is in the deciding. Your word or phrase doesn’t have to be perfect. Let it sum up the overall experience, but don’t worry about getting it just-so. We naturally refine our sacred vocabulary over time.

 

Matching and align yourself with your intention.

Throughout the time you’ve chosen, bring your mind back to your intention.

  • How is it going?
  • Are you aligned with that intention?
  • What could you say/do that would match the tone of the intention?
  • How could you bring more of its spirit into your words, choices, and actions?

No need to aim for perfection. Allow the intention to be a guiding light. Allow it to illuminate areas of unconsciousness or places where your life is out of alignment with what you find to be most sacred. This kind of feedback is meant to serve you and the sacredness you’re cultivating.

(No guilt or shame if you’re not 100% aligned out of the gate. You’re human.)

 

Refining your tone.

Once you’ve had some experience setting your intention and then matching that tone, begin to refine it. Maybe some words serve you better than others. Maybe some times of day feel more aligned for setting your intention.

Allow it to be an experiment. Invest in letting it be a process. Again, it’s not about the outcome, but continually bringing mindfulness and clear-hearted integrity to your daily life. Over time, you’ll develop an intention-setting practice that works for you.

It will point you in the direction that you want to go, until you get closer and closer to that which is most sacred to you.

 

Related Posts:

 

Browse the free self-care resource garden for workbooks, journals, planners, practice guides and more >> www.christytending.com

Creating a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

March 13, 2017

Sometimes, life can be overwhelming. Learn how to create a quiet life (in the midst of a noisy world). Plus grab your seat for the free self-care mini-course inside! >> www.christytending.com

If you’re a quiet, sensitive person, it can feel like the world is SO LOUD sometimes. Like everyone is shouting, even over the Internet. If you’re drawn to create something big, it can be a challenge to do that in what feels like a maelstrom of input and sound and shouty-ness.

If you’re looking to create more quiet in your everyday life, start here.

Set intention

Why are you looking for more quiet?

What are you hoping to heal? What are you hoping to find?

Defining the purpose of the quieter life can be a huge gift. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel selfish or anti-social. There is intentionality accompanying the dream.

Of course, you never have to justify why you’re seeking more quiet and stillness, but knowing your intention can help you cultivate it with less drama. It can also be a nice guide for friends or family who can’t understand why you’re suddenly shushing them or switching off the TV at random. Know what you’re hoping to create in place of the noise.

Discover and trust your rhythm

When and where are you looking to create more quiet? What times of day make sense for you to be more quiet? Are there times when external stimuli seem to be more upsetting for your nervous system?

Notice and trust your natural rhythm.

For some, creating more quiet in the hour(s) before bedtime makes the most sense. Others prefer to wake slowly and make their way into the day more gently. Notice what works (or doesn’t) for you. Are there particular times or circumstances where you’re drawn to be more quiet, naturally?

Trust that information and allow your rhythms to guide you, rather than forcing your natural flow into an artificial pattern.

Create boundaries

Once you know your intention, and have a handle on your rhythms, you can begin to create a respectful container in which they can thrive.

This is highly personal. But notice: what kinds of boundaries do you need? Are they boundaries with others? Or is it more about internal boundaries and structure?

Offer yourself what you need. Boundaries can be your best friends, if you create them in a way that reflects your needs. Maybe it’s around certain times of day, certain people, or certain types of media. Maybe it’s limiting your exposure to social media, the news, or particular foods. No matter what boundaries you need, you don’t need to apologize.

Life can feel noisy, boundaries can dampen the sound and create a filter for what we’re consuming so that we can feel less overwhelmed.

Dedicate quiet time

I set aside time every week to be silent. This means that I’m also not accepting external input in the form of sound, either, aside from ambient natural sounds and sounds from my neighborhood. It’s a time to turn inward. There is silence, but the silence isn’t just there for me to fill.

It can exist for its own sake.

It can nourish in its own way.

I can accept the present moment, without needing to alter it with my words, with music, or with technology.

This time is sacred and gives my brain the opportunity to integrate all of the input it accepts on a daily (hourly, really) basis. Sometimes, I don’t use the time for anything in particular. Sometimes, I meditate. Other times, I’m struck with inspiration and spend the time journaling, sketching or teasing out the fragile details of my day dreams.

In that quiet space, I don’t get sidetracked, and my ideas have the space to germinate and grow.

Switch off everything that doesn’t need to be on

The lights.

The phone notifications.

The ready-alert instinct in your brain.

If you’re seeking more quiet, walk through your house (or your own mind) and look at what you can switch to off. When I disabled all of the notifications on my phone, life suddenly became so much more still and easeful. My attention could finally rest in the present, where I wanted it to be.

Not only was it literally less noisy, but I could also drop the vigilance that had become my default setting. I wasn’t constantly waiting for the next interruption. I could simply be in the moment.

Similarly, bright screens and overhead lights go off at 9pm in my house. I switch my phone to airplane mode. I am off-duty at that point. My time and energy and attention is truly my own.

 

Related:

What is your Sacred Focus?

Edit Your Schedule

On Devotion

 

Tiny actions to bring more ritual into your life

March 6, 2017

The idea of ritual is incredibly appealing to me. I crave routine and habit. I source comfort and connection from these. Ritual nourishes me and keeps me grounded. But if ritual intimidates you? If you think it needs to be complicated or overly woo?

There are tiny actions you can take to infuse your life with more ritual – without breaking the bank or turning breakfast into a séance (unless that’s your thing, in which case, please invite me over).

Rituals don't need to be complicated. You can start creating more sacred in your life today. Here are some tiny actions to bring more ritual into your life. Plus, sign up for the free self-care mini-course inside! >> www.christytending.com

Because these actions should fit into your everyday life, I’ve broken them down into three categories: morning, evening and mealtime. I mean, we all have these times in our lives. Also, because they usually mark a transition (sleep to waking, for instance), they are natural times to mark with ritual.

Caveat: do what works for you. If one of these works better for you at a different time, do that. These are suggestions. Take them with a grain of salt, and feel free to make them a custom expression of your life, flow, and needs.

Morning Rituals:

  • Quiet until a certain hour
  • A special morning beverage or meal
  • Prayer or meditation
  • Gratitude journaling or morning pages
  • Greeting the sun
  • Drawing a tarot card for the day
  • Setting an intention
  • Sun salutations or other mindful movement

Evening Rituals:

  • Self-massage (especially your feet or scalp)
  • A cup of tea
  • Screens off by a certain time
  • Inspirational reading
  • Journaling or creative writing
  • Lighting a candle
  • Tracking the moon and acknowledging where it is in its cycle
  • A restorative pose or other therapeutic pose

Mealtime Rituals:

  • Expressing gratitude
  • Eating one meal per day in silence
  • Turning your phone off while eating
  • A short walk after a meal
  • Breathing practice before or after the meal
  • Have one piece of (super-high-quality) chocolate afterwards
  • Bow to signify the end of a meal